Resetting My Music Choices
So, there is this rapper named Hobo Johnson. You might know him from his Tiny Desk Concert for NPR. He recently released some new music, and I have been enjoying it. I relate to a lot of his lyrics. Unfortunately, I relate to them a little too much.
It’s time for a RESET!
As I said above, I relate to Hobo Johnson’s music a lot. His music mentions heartbreak and his parents’ divorce. Two things I know well. One of the things that draws me to his music is how real he gets with his lyrics. They resonate with me. However, one of his new songs features him basically yelling, “I’m gonna feel alone forever, but I’m getting used to the thought.” I don’t need to hear that right now.
I write these words the day after I asked my psychiatrist to increase the dose of my antidepressant. I am not happy with my life right now. Among other struggles, I am experiencing a lot of loneliness. A song like that is detrimental to my self-care because music affects my mood.
My second semester of college was a period of difficult transition for me. I had transferred from one school where I did not fit in to another school where I was struggling to meet people and fit in yet again. During that time, I listened almost exclusively to rap music with a religious message. It was low-quality rap music and mediocre lyrics, but I noticed that it improved my mood.
In early February of 2018, I was dumped by a girl with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life. I took it really hard. During this difficult time in my life, I created a playlist of songs that had uplifting lyrics. That was the only music to which I allowed myself to listen during that time. As I was emerging from that dark place, I fell in love with classical music. Classical music has this incredible ability to soothe the mind (especially this song).
I have forgotten how music affects me, and I need to be mindful of that. This time period of my life necessitates that I take all steps possible to maintain my self-care. I cannot afford to forget the effective music has on me.
My why in this reset is simple: I want to be happy.
Who I Want to Be
I want to be someone who uses what he knows about himself to improve his life. Destructive decisions are detrimental to my mental health, and at this time, I cannot afford to do those things. I want to make healthy decisions. I want to know myself and take care of myself.
I need a new playlist. As I mentioned before, I had a playlist of songs that helped my mindset back in February of 2018. I need one of those now. I actually kind of enjoy making playlists. Maybe I do not even need just one. If I create several playlists, I stand less of a chance of getting bored with those songs.
Also, I need to get back in the habit of listening to classical music. I love it. Why do I not listen to it more? I am listening to it as I write this blog post, and I am digging it. (Shout out to Classical MPR!)