Things I'm Going to Have to Explain to My Future Wife

Life with an ADHDer is not always easy, but it is rarely boring. I was reflecting recently about all of the ADHD things I do that will one affect my future wife. I have compiled this list in the hopes that it might inspire you to warn your future spouse about life with you. If you are already married, feel free to enjoy the craziness that follows.

That I Have ADHD

It would be hard to hide this one because I am an ADHD coach. As soon as she learns that I’m an ADHD coach, she’s going to ask how I got into that. It is going to come out right away. However, I mention this because it is important for a significant other to know.

The Organization of My Clothes

^Not my actual closet

Have you ever known what you want to wear but have been unable to find it? I have. After this happened to me several times, I decided it is time to get organized. I organize my clothing by type, theme, and color. All of my dress shirts are together. All of my t-shirts are together. All of my pants are together. Some of those categories can be broken down into smaller groups by using themes. My t-shirts, for example, are broken down into categories by what is on the shirt. I have religious-themed t-shirts together, superhero shirts together, sports teams shirts together, and then miscellaneous shirts together. Finally, all of my clothes are organized by color, usually adhering to ROY G. BIV as much as possible. I imagine teaching my future wife all of this and hearing her mutter to herself, “What kind of freak have I married?”

My Alarm System

I have a normal alarm clock that goes off, and my phone is usually set to go off at the same time. Also, for a while I wasn’t waking up to those alarms, so I bought an alarm clock that has a special attachment that slides under the mattress that vibrates when your alarm goes off. Needless to say, I should probably warn my future wife about this symphony of craziness. Although, it would be hilarious to not tell her and see what her reaction would be…

My Nightly Podcast

To help calm my brain down and fall asleep at night, I listen to a podcast called Sleep with Me. I have written a blog post about how it helps me fall asleep. However, my future wife will have to learn to enjoy falling asleep to Dearest Scooter’s “creaky dulcet tones,” too, or I am going to have to get used to falling asleep while wearing SleepPhones.

My Sleep Schedule

After reading a book on the importance of sleep, I wrote a blog post on its importance and made several changes to my behavior to ensure a regular sleep schedule. This is something she will become aware of while we are dating, but it will affect her more after we get married. She will need to go to sleep at the same time as me, or be quiet enough for me to get my eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. (Then, we’ll have kids, and I’ll have to kiss my precious sleep schedule goodbye. But, for now…)

Life Is Going to Get Weird

You need a sense of humor when you have ADHD or when you are dealing with someone with ADHD, or else you will go crazy. She will become well acquainted with my zany sense of humor while we are dating, but after we get married, things will get weird. I sometimes dance to get my cardio in, and I don’t actually know how to dance. It’s lots of flailing about. I like having noise in the background, so if things are absolutely silent, I will start making random noises. I can get lost in thought and end up taking really long showers (one time, I took an hour-long shower). I sing loudly. That’s not that weird, but I decided years ago that I enjoying singing more when I am more concerned about having fun than singing well. Am I a good singer? Sometimes. I think I do a stellar one-man cover of “One Day More” from Les Miserables. I sometimes still play dress up. I have lots of weird hobbies, some of which fall into a category I like to call the “circus arts.” My guest room and the attached bathroom are Batman-themed. My movie collection is alphabetized, but there is a special section on the shelf for movies in which Batman appears which is also alphabetized. I probably do some other weird things unconsciously that she’ll notice and think is odd. If she gets to know me well while we’re dating, I don’t think she will be surprised by any of these things, but she will have to get used to them.

Today’s Reset ADHD Challenge

Warn those you love about your ADHD-related eccentricities