The Pressure to Conform

When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted desperately to fit in. So, what did I do? I did what I thought was expected of me. I said the things I thought I was supposed to say. I acted the way I thought others wanted me to act. Did it work? No. I had very few friends in junior high and high school. I bounced around from friend group to friend group, not really feeling comfortable anywhere. By the time high school ended, I felt alone and desperately wanted a new start. That is one of the reasons I chose a college where I knew no one. In the end, I was only at that college for one semester. I did not fit in there either, but when I returned to my hometown and started engaging in activities I knew I liked, I made friends. I had connections. Was it still difficult? Yes, but I knew I was living my life the way I wanted.

This story illustrates the necessity of living your life, not the life you think others want you to live. It was when I embraced living life the way I wanted to that things began to improve. Sure, I made mistakes, fell into old habits, and felt alone from time to time. However, I now feel empowered to take the right actions to ensure I am living my life and not some other version of myself’s life. In short, I am living authentically.

The Moral of the Story

What does any of this have to do with ADHD? This is supposed to be a blog about ADHD after all. I think the lesson here is to live the way your brain naturally operates. Those of us with ADHD feel tremendous pressure to conform to society’s standards. It is easy to fall into the habit of being someone you think the world wants you to be when, in reality, you will be much happier being authentic.

So, if you are struggling with feeling like you are not living up to your potential or feeling like something is holding you back, try examining whether or not you are living as your true authentic self. Society wants to fit us ADHDers into a box when we do not even belong in the room where the box is. We belong outside the confines of what other people think we should be. In short, we are happiest when we are free to be our true, authentic self.

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