I started this blog in 2018, and I have been in and out of relationships during that time. I have not, however, talked about the dating process on this blog before. Dating is a tricky thing, and ADHD does not make things easier. It complicates the matter. So, let’s explore the dating process and ADHD a bit in this post.

If you are following my YouTube channel, you know that I am currently writing a book. This project is unique because, in writing my previous books, I had the opportunity to write in a different way that I am writing now. My early books were written by giving myself a word count for each day and writing until I hit my daily word count. My latest books (The Reset ADHD Trilogy of Books) were written using my blog posts. This time, I am trying to write a book while running a business. So, how do I go about this?

One of the hardest parts about living with ADHD is dealing with the ramifications of when things go awry. We quite often find ourselves not where we want to be. This is frustrating and can lead to negative self-talk. This can quickly devolve into a harsh relationship with oneself. When we are constantly berating ourselves, we begin to internalize the messages we are receiving. How we break out of this vicious cycle is not easy and seems overly simplistic, but it can be done.

Once per month, Reset ADHD offers “Improv for ADHD” play sessions. These sessions are an opportunity to have fun and grow in your ADHD management skills. Improv is a huge part of my life, and I love sharing it with others. But, why do I love it so much? Well, there are many reasons. I will detail why it is so special to me below.

It’s January here in South Dakota, which means two things:

1. My smoker is covered in snow.

2. I’m craving barbecue food like crazy.

This is causing me to reflect on the barbecuing process and how much I enjoy it. Yes, it is time consuming and messy, but now that I have tried smoking meat, I cannot stop. In short, I love making good barbecue food at home. It is a major part of my life now.

At this point, you may be wondering why an ADHD blog is talking so much about barbecue. Well, I feel smoking meat has helped me with my ADHD. Here’s how…

So, I have this bad habit. I leave my email open on my computer. This means I am frequently checking my email. When faced with writer’s block, I check my email. Any time I open my computer, I check my email. When I am bored, I check my email. I am constantly checking my email. This hurts my productivity. Is this blog post a declaration that I will check my email less? Well, no. I am still probably going to check my email quite a bit, but I think being aware of how often I do it is creating a new awareness for me. I want to be more aware of how I use my time and how various tasks either drain my energy or re-energize me. In short, I want to get off auto-pilot and be more in control of my life.

As some of my readers are aware, I do not classify ADHD as a superpower. I stand by my previous claims about that. However, what if it is? What would be the implications of that? Let’s consider what would be true if ADHD was a super power. After all, many out there claim it is. How can we respect them and dialogue with them if we cannot fully consider their opinion? Let’s explore superpowers, what they are, who has them, and how they are used. Then let’s look at what if ADHD is a superpower.

At the 2023 International Conference on ADHD, Alan P. Brown of ADD Crusher made a shocking confession. He does not wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Scandalous, I know! However, he further clarified that what he does after using the restroom is go to the kitchen and wash two dishes. By the end of the washing, he has clean hands and two clean dishes. This is silly, and that is why it works.

When dealing with ADHD, the subject of impatience inevitably comes up. Those of us with ADHD are like Veruca Salt from the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That character sings a song in that movie entitled, “I Want It Now.” Like Veruca, those of us with ADHD want things now. This is especially true when it comes to managing our ADHD. We do not want to wait for improvement to happen slowly. We want to be on top of our ADHD now. However, this is not reasonable. There are no miracle cures or overnight fixes for ADHD. In short, when managing ADHD, we are looking for progress, not perfection.

One of the tragedies of living life with ADHD is we do not give ourselves enough credit for what we are doing. We forget about the good things we have done, those things that help us move forward in life. There is a negativity bias that we need to overcome. We tend to focus on the things that have not gone according to plan. Yet, we need to remember that, sometimes, reality is better than what we had planned and that we have been making strides. Yes, there is always room for improvement, but we tend to discount the progress we have already made. So, I say to you, dear reader: You’re doing better than you think.

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to track all of those things you intend to do, it is commonly recommended to make what is known as a “to-do list.” Yes, it is necessary to create such a list, for those of us with ADHD have trouble remembering all we intend to do. Memory is not our friend. It is fickle, so it becomes imperative to externalize our intentions.

Equally important, however, is the need to make a list of those things you do not want to do or are not worth your time. Therefore, I say to you: Make a not-doing list.

Life can be hectic, and it is especially so when one has ADHD. As one manages one’s day-to-day life, all sorts of stressors pop up, which taxes one’s executive functions and other mental faculties. When the stress builds up, it is imperative to destress and find calm. Doing so may seem complicated, but we often forget the simple things that can help bring a sense of calm and relaxation to our lives. Here are a few tips that can help you relax and cultivate calm in your life.

Most people with ADHD have a comorbid condition. This means, along with ADHD, the individual has another mental health condition with which to cope. A Danish study (Jensen 2016) of individuals from age four to seventeen found that 52% of those with ADHD have a comorbid condition, and 26.2% had more than one comorbid condition. This makes life challenging. ADHD is tricky enough, but when you add another condition, that brings a whole host of troubles. That does not mean one is doomed to a life of struggle. It is possible to thrive. There is hope. So, whether you have anxiety, depression, or another condition along with your ADHD, you can thrive. How to thrive will be a challenge, but we can do hard things. If you are looking to navigate your co-existing conditions, follow the ideas below.

Getting an ADHD diagnosis can be a life-altering event, especially if it is an adult diagnosis. You have learned something new about yourself and how your brain is wired. Things are the same as they have always been, but now, you know more about what is happening. You have a name for your struggles and unique traits. While it is a good thing to finally have answers, it can be a hard thing to handle. How does one make peace with oneself after an ADHD diagnosis? How does one make peace with one’s past after an ADHD diagnosis? It is a journey following an ADHD diagnosis, for sure, but there is hope.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the 2023 Applied Improvisation Network Conference. I arrived at the Improv Centre in Vancouver for registration, got my badge, got the lay of the land, and then walked outside. There, sitting on a bench, was one of the keynote speakers, Colin Mochrie of Whose Line Is It Anyway? fame. I was able to sit next to him and tell him how much he meant to me as an improv performer and practitioner of applied improvisation. Reflecting on my encounter with Mochrie and learning more about his life and career has led me to wonder how he can help those of us with ADHD.

The forgetfulness that comes along with ADHD can make traveling difficult. I used to resign myself to the fact that I would forget at least one thing on every trip. One day, though, I got frustrated with always forgetting something. I knew I needed a better system. I tried lists, but that only took me so far. Something was missing. Then I stumbled upon a game-changing system. I have been using it ever since.

As longtime readers of this blog may have surmised, I am a giant nerd. I have previously written blogs about what ADHDers can learn from some of my favorite fictional stories and characters. One glaring omission from this series of blog posts is my second-favorite fictional character, Sherlock Holmes. While Holmes probably does not have ADHD, he nevertheless can be a neurodiverse icon, with it being incredibly likely that he is on the spectrum. I believe the character illustrates many ideas that the ADHDer might do well to consider.

For the past few weeks, I have been in a funk. I do not like being in a funk, yet here I am. While discussing this with my mentor, he came up with an acronym. G.O.O.F. Get Out Of Funk. The key to getting out of a funk is to G.O.O.F. around. Be a G.O.O.F.! I love this idea and am going to run with it. I pledge to be a G.O.O.F. while I am in this funk.

I think this idea can be helpful for others with ADHD. Sometimes, the ADHD can get to us, and we get down about our struggles. To all those in a funk, I say, “Be a G.O.O.F.”

I was recently interviewed by someone, and I was asked about what message I would like to give my younger self. I was not ready for that question, but my response was: “You are where you are meant to be.” As I think about that statement, it occurs to me that it, not only makes sense for myself at younger ages, but it also applies to all of us at any age. Where we are in life is preparing us for where we are going. If there are struggles in our lives, they are making us stronger and ready for what is to come in our lives. In short, we are where we are meant to be.

Many people with ADHD just take their medication and move on with their lives. However, this approach is met with mediocre results. The prevailing wisdom amongst ADHD experts is to enlist a multimodal approach to ADHD management. This means managing your ADHD on multiple fronts. One could look at this as taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. It seems to this ADHD blogger that the most neglected aspect of a mind/body/spirit approach is the spirit.