I started this blog in 2018, and I have been in and out of relationships during that time. I have not, however, talked about the dating process on this blog before. Dating is a tricky thing, and ADHD does not make things easier. It complicates the matter. So, let’s explore the dating process and ADHD a bit in this post.

If you are following my YouTube channel, you know that I am currently writing a book. This project is unique because, in writing my previous books, I had the opportunity to write in a different way that I am writing now. My early books were written by giving myself a word count for each day and writing until I hit my daily word count. My latest books (The Reset ADHD Trilogy of Books) were written using my blog posts. This time, I am trying to write a book while running a business. So, how do I go about this?

One of the hardest parts about living with ADHD is dealing with the ramifications of when things go awry. We quite often find ourselves not where we want to be. This is frustrating and can lead to negative self-talk. This can quickly devolve into a harsh relationship with oneself. When we are constantly berating ourselves, we begin to internalize the messages we are receiving. How we break out of this vicious cycle is not easy and seems overly simplistic, but it can be done.

So, I have this bad habit. I leave my email open on my computer. This means I am frequently checking my email. When faced with writer’s block, I check my email. Any time I open my computer, I check my email. When I am bored, I check my email. I am constantly checking my email. This hurts my productivity. Is this blog post a declaration that I will check my email less? Well, no. I am still probably going to check my email quite a bit, but I think being aware of how often I do it is creating a new awareness for me. I want to be more aware of how I use my time and how various tasks either drain my energy or re-energize me. In short, I want to get off auto-pilot and be more in control of my life.

At the 2023 International Conference on ADHD, Alan P. Brown of ADD Crusher made a shocking confession. He does not wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Scandalous, I know! However, he further clarified that what he does after using the restroom is go to the kitchen and wash two dishes. By the end of the washing, he has clean hands and two clean dishes. This is silly, and that is why it works.

When dealing with ADHD, the subject of impatience inevitably comes up. Those of us with ADHD are like Veruca Salt from the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That character sings a song in that movie entitled, “I Want It Now.” Like Veruca, those of us with ADHD want things now. This is especially true when it comes to managing our ADHD. We do not want to wait for improvement to happen slowly. We want to be on top of our ADHD now. However, this is not reasonable. There are no miracle cures or overnight fixes for ADHD. In short, when managing ADHD, we are looking for progress, not perfection.

One of the tragedies of living life with ADHD is we do not give ourselves enough credit for what we are doing. We forget about the good things we have done, those things that help us move forward in life. There is a negativity bias that we need to overcome. We tend to focus on the things that have not gone according to plan. Yet, we need to remember that, sometimes, reality is better than what we had planned and that we have been making strides. Yes, there is always room for improvement, but we tend to discount the progress we have already made. So, I say to you, dear reader: You’re doing better than you think.

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to track all of those things you intend to do, it is commonly recommended to make what is known as a “to-do list.” Yes, it is necessary to create such a list, for those of us with ADHD have trouble remembering all we intend to do. Memory is not our friend. It is fickle, so it becomes imperative to externalize our intentions.

Equally important, however, is the need to make a list of those things you do not want to do or are not worth your time. Therefore, I say to you: Make a not-doing list.

Those of us with ADHD get a lot of ideas. They flow like a rushing river. However, our memories aren’t the greatest because of our ADHD. This can make it difficult to remember all of the ideas we have had, good or bad. So, when you have an idea that you want to remember, how do you capture it and hold onto it?

Most people with ADHD have a comorbid condition. This means, along with ADHD, the individual has another mental health condition with which to cope. A Danish study (Jensen 2016) of individuals from age four to seventeen found that 52% of those with ADHD have a comorbid condition, and 26.2% had more than one comorbid condition. This makes life challenging. ADHD is tricky enough, but when you add another condition, that brings a whole host of troubles. That does not mean one is doomed to a life of struggle. It is possible to thrive. There is hope. So, whether you have anxiety, depression, or another condition along with your ADHD, you can thrive. How to thrive will be a challenge, but we can do hard things. If you are looking to navigate your co-existing conditions, follow the ideas below.

Getting an ADHD diagnosis can be a life-altering event, especially if it is an adult diagnosis. You have learned something new about yourself and how your brain is wired. Things are the same as they have always been, but now, you know more about what is happening. You have a name for your struggles and unique traits. While it is a good thing to finally have answers, it can be a hard thing to handle. How does one make peace with oneself after an ADHD diagnosis? How does one make peace with one’s past after an ADHD diagnosis? It is a journey following an ADHD diagnosis, for sure, but there is hope.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the 2023 Applied Improvisation Network Conference. I arrived at the Improv Centre in Vancouver for registration, got my badge, got the lay of the land, and then walked outside. There, sitting on a bench, was one of the keynote speakers, Colin Mochrie of Whose Line Is It Anyway? fame. I was able to sit next to him and tell him how much he meant to me as an improv performer and practitioner of applied improvisation. Reflecting on my encounter with Mochrie and learning more about his life and career has led me to wonder how he can help those of us with ADHD.

The forgetfulness that comes along with ADHD can make traveling difficult. I used to resign myself to the fact that I would forget at least one thing on every trip. One day, though, I got frustrated with always forgetting something. I knew I needed a better system. I tried lists, but that only took me so far. Something was missing. Then I stumbled upon a game-changing system. I have been using it ever since.

For the past few weeks, I have been in a funk. I do not like being in a funk, yet here I am. While discussing this with my mentor, he came up with an acronym. G.O.O.F. Get Out Of Funk. The key to getting out of a funk is to G.O.O.F. around. Be a G.O.O.F.! I love this idea and am going to run with it. I pledge to be a G.O.O.F. while I am in this funk.

I think this idea can be helpful for others with ADHD. Sometimes, the ADHD can get to us, and we get down about our struggles. To all those in a funk, I say, “Be a G.O.O.F.”

I was recently interviewed by someone, and I was asked about what message I would like to give my younger self. I was not ready for that question, but my response was: “You are where you are meant to be.” As I think about that statement, it occurs to me that it, not only makes sense for myself at younger ages, but it also applies to all of us at any age. Where we are in life is preparing us for where we are going. If there are struggles in our lives, they are making us stronger and ready for what is to come in our lives. In short, we are where we are meant to be.

Reset ADHD has published several books, all of which are available on Amazon. However, I am no so naive as to expect you to buy and read them all. I mean I would love it if you did, but knowing my audience, I know that reading just one book can be quite the task for an ADHDer. So, that brings up the question: If you only read one, which one should you read?

Recently, I had a conversation with Alan P. Brown, Jay Perry, and Ryan Mayer. It was an awesome conversation, and I encourage you to go check out the video replay. One nugget of wisdom that came up was the three ways of motivating someone with ADHD. My mentor Jay Perry dropped this nugget of wisdom, and it blew our minds. The three ways are: Scare, dare, and care. Let’s look at these three rhyming ways of motivation…

It can be hard to trust oneself when one has ADHD. There are many mistakes that get made made when living with ADHD. Most are not a big deal, but the frequency of mistakes can erode one’s self-confidence. Building up trust in one’s abilities and self-efficacy can be challenging. So, what can be done? Here are a few tips.

I write this the day after one of my “Improv for ADHD” play sessions. I had grand plans for the improv session. I had a list of games I wanted to play. I dreamed of making a big difference in the lives of those that attended. However, I was too grand in my planning. I wanted it to be magical. What I failed to take into consideration is that simplicity is almost always better. In future play sessions, I will keep things simple (or as simple as my high-powered brain can handle).

Recently, I saw a touring production of the musical Dear Evan Hansen. I enjoyed it, despite not liking the movie version. I thought it would be unique/fun to reflect a bit on what can be learned from this show. I will be basing this off of the stage production, not the movie version of this story, because the stage production is more fresh in my mind. But, I suspect these lessons/reflections could apply to both.