The Importance of Connecting
The first time I attended the International Conference on ADHD, I felt very alone when I first arrived. Sure, I was able to talk to some of my classmates from the ADD Coach Academy, but I am an introvert with social anxiety. So, I was awkward and uncomfortable. Then, at one of the keynote addresses, I sat down and heard a voice behind me say, “Oh good, it’s you.” At first, I thought the voice must have been talking to someone else, but because I have ADHD, my head naturally turned towards the voice. Sure enough, the voice had been talking to me. The guy who spoke introduced himself as Ryan Mayer and commented on how we were one of the few young men there. We got to talking and got to know each other. We connected right away, and a friendship has since developed. I felt less alone the rest of the conference, and over the next year, I continued to make connections in the ADHD world. The next year’s conference was a lot more comfortable for me. I felt like I belonged. I would not have felt that belonging if I had not been open to meeting Ryan at that first conference.
The above story underscores the importance of connecting. Would I still be attending those conferences if I had not made connections? I guess we will never know for sure, but I suspect, at the very least, I would still feel awkward and like I did not belong. However, I did make connections, and I do feel like I belong in the ADHD community. It has been a huge blessing in my life to know all of the people I do in the ADHD community. Belonging is one of our basic needs as humans. We are social creatures; we need others. Who do you know that helps you feel like you belong?
But, I get it. Connecting with others and making friends is hard. I am an awkward introvert. It is really hard for me, but I know I need to connect with others. Am I the greatest at reaching out, meeting others, and making connections? No, not by a long shot, but I desire to get better. So, I will invest in what Doctor Ned Hallowell calls “the other Vitamin C,” and I encourage you to do the same. Reaching out is a scary thought, but the best definition of bravery I have ever heard is “being afraid but doing the thing anyway.” So, I leave you with this challenge: With whom can you connect this week?