Staying Patient When You Have ADHD
One thing that is hard for those of us with ADHD to do is to be patient. When we need to be patient, we are forced to wait, which is essentially doing nothing. Doing nothing is aggravating to the ADHD brain. When we were kids, we were told to be patient. If you’re like me, that probably annoyed you. How does one stay patient?
Distract Yourself
When forced to do nothing for long stretches of time, find a way of keeping your mind occupied while waiting. This could mean thinking of or doing something else. If you are sitting in a room (say, at a doctor’s office) with nothing to do, play a game with yourself. Recently, I had a long stretch where I had nothing to do. I decided to test my memory by playing the “I’m going on a picnic” game. This involved saying to myself, “I’m going on a picnic, and I’m bringing…” several times and trying to remember what items I said I was bringing on this imaginary picnic in alphabetical order.
In other scenarios, the game method might not be the best route to go. For example, if you are waiting to hear back on a job or college application, playing a game might not be the best fit. One way of going around that challenge might be to avoid thinking about it all the time. This means doing things that will engage your brain and not allow you to think about what you are waiting for. Hang out with friends or do a crossword puzzle, something that will engage your mind and not allow you to think about that thing that is making you impatient. Bottom line: Don’t just sit and do nothing.
Patience Is a Muscle
Now, distraction might not always be possible. It might be that you are forced to sit and stew in impatience (say, in rush hour traffic). One way to grow in the virtue of patience is to embrace situations where you are forced to wait. Instead of trying your best and doing everything possible to make it easier for yourself in that moment, embrace the challenge. Find a way of forcing yourself to be even more patient. For example, if you are caught in rush hour traffic, stop changing lanes all the time to find the fastest one. Embrace being caught in a slow lane. Granted, this is easier when you are not running late.
Practice Better Time Management
One of the reasons we may be impatient is that we are frequently running late. The challenges of ADHD can make being on time difficult to accomplish, but it is possible. One way of being on time is to aim to be early. If the drive takes you 15 minutes, aim to leave 30 minutes early. That way, if you fail to leave on time, you will still be okay. By leaving early, you avoid the tense feelings of running late, making it easier to be calm and patient.
Get Creative
I feel like I say, “Get creative!” in every blog that I write, but I feel it is important for those of us with ADHD. Finding unique ways to grow in patience will keep our brain more interested in growing in patience, as opposed to fighting the pain of impatience.