I recently read (okay, listened to the audiobook of) Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by renowned sleep researcher Matthew Walker, PhD. IT. BLEW. MY. MIND. Sleep is crazy important. Because I read that book (okay, listened to that audiobook), I made several changes to my life. My sleep schedule is now quite strict, and I bought a new bed to ensure maximum comfort. In short, I learned that, if you don’t get eight hours of sleep every night, you’re basically screwed.

There are plenty if times where those of us with ADHD do not win. ADHDers need wins, or life will get miserable. Not winning sucks.

SO….you’re probably wondering, “How does one start winning when ADHD makes life so hard?” Good question. Now, I normally give multiple pieces of advice or several steps of one piece of advice in my blogs, but to answer today’s question, I only need to say one thing…

One reason parents are often resistant to getting their child tested for ADHD is the fear that their child will be given a label. This is tragic. The ADHD label is not something to be feared. It is not a negative. Yes, there are struggles that come with ADHD, but the label itself does not doom an individual. On the contrary, seeking an ADHD diagnosis can be beneficial.

If there is any trait all people with ADHD need to cultivate within themselves, it is perseverance. ADHD wreaks havoc in all areas of an ADHDer’s life. This causes many struggles in many areas. In short, more often than not, things will not go the way an ADHDer wants them to go. What is needed in those times of struggle is perseverance, the ability to keep moving forward despite setbacks.

When you have ADHD, it is easy to feel bad about yourself. You hear a lot of corrective and critical statements. After hearing enough of those, you begin to internalize them. You begin to feel like you are not enough, and shame creeps into your life.

However, it is important to break free from this pattern of self-shaming. You are not broken. You are who you were created to be. I know it can be easy to feel shame about having ADHD, but you need to fight that temptation. Here are a few suggestions to break free of the shame.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

Growth mindset focus on learning, not results. If students focus on improving and learning, their grades will go up. The focus is on learning the information, not simply doing well enough to get the grade that will make their teachers and parents happy. The improvement in academic performance is especially useful in subjects, like math, that build on previous material. Instead of struggling as more and more as topics build on previous topics and having to go back and relearn some material, the student will be ready for the next subject, having already mastered the previous topics.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.

I have a powerful example of what hitting the reset button looks like, and this example comes from my own life. I did not hit the reset button on my ADHD, however. I hit the reset button on my life. Let a poem I performed at the 2018 International Conference on ADHD explain…

Those of us with ADHD have vivid imaginations. We have a crazy amount of ideas and are prone to thinking differently. Our imaginations are powerful, but is this power good or bad? That is a question worth exploring. People believe Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison had ADHD. One of the reasons for this belief is that they were incredibly inventive. They thought outside of the box.

When a person struggles with hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, and executive functions, they will struggle in their spiritual life. There are very little resources avail even addressing how to manage one’s spiritual life when one has ADHD. It has been my observation that very few, if any, faith leaders (priests, pastors, rabbis, imams, etc.) offer guidance on managing ADHD and one’s spiritual life. Therefore, I offer this challenge to faith leaders of all religious backgrounds: Research ADHD and how you can minister to those members of your flock who have ADHD.

Our society places high regard on individual effort. We are expected to work hard and show no weaknesses. However, we are social beings. We need others. When life gets tough, there is no shame in seeking the support of others. In fact, it is the smart thing to do.

Knowledge is power, and it is even more powerful when it is self-knowledge. One of the best things you can do to manage ADHD and improve your life is to know yourself better. Self-exploration is something everyone should do, regardless of whether they have ADHD or not. When you know yourself and your needs, you are better able to articulate what you need from others. This takes time, but it is well worth it.

One of the things that will inevitably occur when learning to manage one's ADHD is encountering pain. The ADHD brain is not a neurotypical brain, and the world was made for neurotypical brains. This leads to the struggles ADHDers face on a daily basis.