Those of us with ADHD defy the norm quite often. Our natural way of doing things works for us, but it is not the way everyone else does things. Because our natural abilities are so different, we get programmed at a young age to not do things the way that is easiest for us. We get pressured into doing things the way everyone else does. This is not good. It does not allow us to accomplish what we otherwise could because we are forced to things in the same manner as everyone else. We need to be free to live by our own owner’s manual.

There are plenty if times where those of us with ADHD do not win. ADHDers need wins, or life will get miserable. Not winning sucks.

SO….you’re probably wondering, “How does one start winning when ADHD makes life so hard?” Good question. Now, I normally give multiple pieces of advice or several steps of one piece of advice in my blogs, but to answer today’s question, I only need to say one thing…

The challenges ADHD causes are not because you are broken. They are the result of a world that is not wired for brains that are wired differently. ADHD is a different brain wiring; it is not a defective brain wiring. You have a good brain. You are not broken.

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. It is a movie I first watched during a difficult time in my life, and it is one I return to in times of great trial or transition. I feel there are many life lessons that can be learned from this movie, and I especially feel that ADHDers can learn from this film. If you have not seen it, I recommend you watch it because it is a good movie and this blog post will make more sense if you have seen it.

Those of us with ADHD have terrible working memories. One of the problems this causes for me (and I’m sure many other ADHDers) is remembering people’s names. I am terrible at remembering names. This causes me guilt when people who know my name say hello to me and use my name. I can remember their face and how I know them, but I have no idea what their name is. This is an area where I want to improve, so I did what any millennial would do. I googled how to remember names. This is what I found.

If there is any trait all people with ADHD need to cultivate within themselves, it is perseverance. ADHD wreaks havoc in all areas of an ADHDer’s life. This causes many struggles in many areas. In short, more often than not, things will not go the way an ADHDer wants them to go. What is needed in those times of struggle is perseverance, the ability to keep moving forward despite setbacks.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.