Who wants to go through life with every day being a grind? No one! Who wants any part of life to be a grind? No one! So, why, then, do we do things we find to be a grind? Because we let the things we do become a grind. Everyone has things in their life that are a grind. However, we do not simply have to accept these things as a grind. We can find a way to gamify these tasks and make them fun.

A common misconception about ADHD is that it causes an impairment with intelligence. This could not be further from the truth. Some ADHDers, myself included, have been told, “You can’t have ADHD; you’re so smart.” The fact of the matter is many people with ADHD are incredibly intelligent. ADHD does not influence one’s intelligence. However, those who are intelligent and have ADHD often go undiagnosed for years.

Hello!

I write this while crouched like an owl on my chair, instead of sitting at my desk like a normal person. Why am I owling as I write this? Well, I am dealing with writer’s block, and I need to have a post ready to go by Monday at 10:45 AM. It is 11:45 AM on Friday currently, and I refuse to work on Sundays. So, as Daffy Duck says in Space Jam, “It’s gut check time.” Something needs to happen, and sometimes, if one wants something to happen, one must change what one is doing. Sometimes, changing things up can bring the focus needed to complete a project. Hence, owling…

The other day, I attended a dinner party and stayed later than I had intended. This led to me being tired the next day. I have been trying to get more sleep, so not only was I tired, but I was also disappointed in myself for staying out so late. This is a problem, and I’m sure I’m not the only ADHDer who struggles with this.

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. It is a movie I first watched during a difficult time in my life, and it is one I return to in times of great trial or transition. I feel there are many life lessons that can be learned from this movie, and I especially feel that ADHDers can learn from this film. If you have not seen it, I recommend you watch it because it is a good movie and this blog post will make more sense if you have seen it.

When you are diagnosed, you are not handed a piece of paper with instructions on how to live the perfect life with ADHD. There is no guide detailing a sure-fire way to avoid the struggles of ADHD. The ugly truth of the matter is there is no owner’s manual for ADHD.

ADHD wreaks all sorts of havoc in the lives of those of us with ADHD. It is easy for the ADHD brain to get overwhelmed. One of the most devastating things that can happen is swirling thoughts. Any of the many struggles an ADHDer faces can lead to these thoughts. We see something that is not going the way we desire, and we become upset by it. We feel a need to fix it and begin searching for a way to do that. However, our minds are not thinking clearly.

ADHDers are prone to perfectionism. This can cause all sorts of problems. One might never complete a project because one can never get it just right, or on the flip side, one might never start a project unless one is sure one will be able to do it exactly right. Both of these mindsets are toxic. Furthermore, perfectionism is time consuming. If one is constantly trying to get everything just right, one will never have time to do all of the things one needs to do. All of the problems surrounding perfectionism can be solved by embracing one simple idea: Good is good enough.

Those of us with ADHD have terrible working memories. One of the problems this causes for me (and I’m sure many other ADHDers) is remembering people’s names. I am terrible at remembering names. This causes me guilt when people who know my name say hello to me and use my name. I can remember their face and how I know them, but I have no idea what their name is. This is an area where I want to improve, so I did what any millennial would do. I googled how to remember names. This is what I found.

One reason parents are often resistant to getting their child tested for ADHD is the fear that their child will be given a label. This is tragic. The ADHD label is not something to be feared. It is not a negative. Yes, there are struggles that come with ADHD, but the label itself does not doom an individual. On the contrary, seeking an ADHD diagnosis can be beneficial.

Last month, I attended the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, and one of our keynote speakers presented some startling statistics. Doctor Russell Barkley, the leading researcher on ADHD, and his colleagues recently conducted a study that showed that ADHD reduces one’s life expectancy by 13 years, and if the DBH Taq1 gene or the DAT1 gene is present, it is a 20-year drop in life expectancy. These numbers should startle you. This is a greater reduction in life expectancy than there is for smoking, excessive alcohol use, obesity, and coronary heart disease.

If there is any trait all people with ADHD need to cultivate within themselves, it is perseverance. ADHD wreaks havoc in all areas of an ADHDer’s life. This causes many struggles in many areas. In short, more often than not, things will not go the way an ADHDer wants them to go. What is needed in those times of struggle is perseverance, the ability to keep moving forward despite setbacks.

When you have ADHD, it is easy to feel bad about yourself. You hear a lot of corrective and critical statements. After hearing enough of those, you begin to internalize them. You begin to feel like you are not enough, and shame creeps into your life.

However, it is important to break free from this pattern of self-shaming. You are not broken. You are who you were created to be. I know it can be easy to feel shame about having ADHD, but you need to fight that temptation. Here are a few suggestions to break free of the shame.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

Growth mindset focus on learning, not results. If students focus on improving and learning, their grades will go up. The focus is on learning the information, not simply doing well enough to get the grade that will make their teachers and parents happy. The improvement in academic performance is especially useful in subjects, like math, that build on previous material. Instead of struggling as more and more as topics build on previous topics and having to go back and relearn some material, the student will be ready for the next subject, having already mastered the previous topics.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.

November 25, 2018 marks 12 years since my friend Ian died. Ian and I sat next to each other in band class 7th and the first part of 8th grade. Ian played the trombone, and I pretended to play the trombone. Ian loved music and was probably too talented to play in the junior high band. I hated band and did not want to be there. Because Ian did not need to try very hard and I did not want to try, we often goofed around. Our favorite way to amuse ourselves was to quote Monty Python, and yes, we used British accents while doing so

We all have stories about our lives. There are good stories and bad stories. But, what determines whether or not a story is good or bad? We do. We have the choice to make a story good or bad. The stories in our past that we view as negative, perhaps, just need to be seen in a different light.