There are many aspects to life – play, work, self-care, etc. We need a balance of all to live a healthy life. It can be hard to balance everything, especially when one has ADHD. The hyperfocus caused by ADHD can cause one to be so preoccupied with one task that nothing else gets done. It can also cause one to forget about taking care of oneself. And, there are many other aspects of ADHD that are troublesome when it comes to balance. I am not here to list every possible way ADHD could get in the way of living a balanced life. I am here to give you one tiny little secret that will help you live a more balanced life.

A word I hear used a lot in the ADHD community is accountability. I am not sure that is something we should be doing. We talk a lot about having an accountability buddy or accountability partner to help us get things done. I think the ADHD community needs to re-examine our use of the word “accountability.” I have used the words “accountability buddy” in a blog post before, so I am not just lecturing others. I am just as guilty as others when it comes to misusing the word accountability.

I write these blog posts on Thursdays. So, as I type these words, it is a Thursday, specifically Thursday afternoon. I have two things on my to-do list for this afternoon before I need to coach a client. I found myself debating which one I should do first. The issue was my nervousness about being able to get both done. “If I can only do one,” I thought, “which one would be best to get done?” I finally said to myself that my blog is something that I do for my business and the other thing is not. Yes, both are important, but between the two, my business is of higher priority. Therefore, I chose to start with this blog post.

One day, I was sitting in my third-grade classroom, and we were working on a worksheet as a class. The teacher was bouncing around the room, having different students answer the questions. This was taking too slow for me, so I started to work ahead. While working ahead, I tried to keep tabs on where the rest of the class was so that, if called upon, I could answer the question without anyone knowing I was working ahead. The split second I lost where they were, I got called on. I answered the one I thought they were on, and my teacher goes, “We just did that one. You’re not paying attention. You can pull a card.”

Those of us with ADHD can be pulled in many different directions. We find a lot of things interesting. Some become lifelong obsessions. Others fade away quickly. How can we tell what will stay in our lives and what will fade away? It is not easy, and this can be especially frustrating when it comes to determining what we want to be when we grow up. So, what can be done to figure out what one needs to know in order to pick a career?

It is important to identify your needs as an ADHDer. The world will not identify them for you, and even if the world does identify “needs,” they may not be your specific needs. We are all different and have different needs, so what is needed for one person may not be needed for you. You need to identify your specific needs in order to live a fulfilling life.

Last week, I wrote about embracing imperfection. This week’s blog post might sound contradictory to that idea. However, it is not. We must be okay with not being perfect, but that does not mean accepting mediocrity. We have the ability to do great things, and we must strive for excellence. It is imperative that we achieve greatness because to accept anything less than excellence denies our worth. Who we are is not ADHDers. We are human beings endowed with innate dignity. That is why we must strive for excellence.

Many of us with ADHD are prone to perfectionism. We want everything to be as perfect as possible. This leads to all sorts of difficulties from procrastinating starting on something until we know it will go perfectly to constantly not finishing projects or assignments. This can be frustrating for us and infuriating to others. There is one little trick to getting past these struggles. That trick is to embrace imperfection.

Growing up, I always felt different, and I could never put my finger on why. It was not until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 20 that I began to understand why I was the way I was. This realization has explained why I always felt different.

I am not someone who paints ADHD as a superpower. However, I am not someone who sees it as the worst thing in the world either. It simply is what it is. It can wreak havoc in your life, but the big three characteristics of ADHD have positive sides to them. Each one has a “flip side.”

I do not believe I have ever mentioned this on this blog, but I do improv. I get a suggestion and then make up a scene with another performer. I love it. Improv is one of the most fun things I have ever done. I believe everyone who tries improv can walk away with some skill that applies to their real life. If there is one thing you can learn from improv, it is to “yes and…”

Life with ADHD can be stressful. It leads to mental anguish, but that anguish can be overcome. It is possible to make peace with your ADHD. In this final week of ADHD awareness month, let’s explore some ways to make peace with your ADHD.

Why ignore reality? Life with ADHD can get really hard. There are struggles aplenty. I do not have to describe them to you. Chances are, you know what I am talking about. In the moments when life seems difficult, what do you do? The answer can be found in a scene from the 2003 movie Finding Nemo. In the scene, Marlin is sad about his missing son and is ready to give up. That is when Dory swims up to him and encourages him to “just keep swimming.”